No clickbait here. I am dead serious. The CDC wants you to prepare for the zombie apocalypse! They have a course titled Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse. They even have a graphic novel that is about a virus rapidly infecting the population and the need for a vaccine. Preparing for a zombie apocalypse seems important to a few Hollywood actors but not to most of us in the general population, so why would the CDC encourage everyone to prepare for the zombie apocalypse?
The CDC’s graphic novel lays out a story of infected zombies moving across the nation and overrunning the best defenses our nation can throw at it. They toss in a few scientific terms to make it sound more realistic. They also outline a plan to use the strategic national stockpile (a real thing) as part of the distribution plan for the vaccine.
Our trio (a male, female, and dog) gather up items to shelter in place as chaos erupts outside. How cliche right? But seriously, who would ever take on the zombie apocalypse with their pet goldfish? The 36-page book concludes with a note on the last page pointing out that this is a “fictional story” and “meant to be both educational and entertaining”.
The Zombie Apocalypse Preparation List
Regardless of your current view of the CDC, they have a point.
Now hear me out. Look at the items they recommend at the end of the novel.
- Water—one gallon per person, per day
- Food—nonperishable, easy-to-prepare items (minimum three-day supply)
- Flashlight and battery-powered or hand-crank radio (NOAA Weather Radio, if possible)
- Extra batteries
- First aid kit (whistle, antibiotic ointment, bandages, face masks, gloves and reference book) Medications (seven-day supply and medicinal dispensers if necessary)
- Multipurpose supplies (wrench, pliers, plastic sheet, duct tape, scissors, matches) Sanitation/personal hygiene items and bleach
- Copies of personal documents (medication list and pertinent medical information, proof of address, deed/lease to home, passports, birth certificates, insurance policies)
- Cell phone with charger
- Family Disaster Plan (family and emergency contact information)
- Extra cash
- Emergency blanket, extra clothes, sleeping bag (1 for each person)
- Map(s) of the area
- Specific medical supplies (hearing aids/extra batteries, glasses, contact lenses, syringes, cane)
- Baby supplies (bottles, formula, baby food, diapers)
- Games and activities for children
- Pet supplies (collar, leash, ID, food, carrier, bowl)
- Two-way radios (or better yet, ham radios)
- Extra set of car keys and house keys
Hmm, most of these look handy for a zombie apocalypse, but this list looks oddly similar to what many popular prepper sites and most government websites (like ready.gov) recommend for any disaster. What gives?
Why You Should Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse
One of the best things about preparing for the zombie apocalypse, or any other disaster, is that it prepares you for a multitude of other scenarios.
When first responders train for natural and manmade disasters, the training scenarios rarely match the real-world situations. However, previous training increases the responder’s situational awareness, problem-solving abilities, and familiarity with procedures during real situations.
In the same way, preparing for a disaster makes you more resilient to a multitude of other events.
Let’s look at some items on the list again.
A map would be extremely important in a zombie apocalypse. It will also be important when your cellphone is dead (you forgot the batteries and charger, didn’t you?) and all the street signs have disappeared. Police officers in Joplin could not recognize the roads they were traveling on because of the extensive destruction around them. All the visual landmarks had been destroyed.
Food, water, and medication will be handy in every situation. That emergency stash of Twinkies will be useful during power outages and ice storms, or when flooding cuts you off from the grocery store.
The CDC took an untraditional approach to get citizens thinking about disaster preparedness. The more prepared a population can be, the more resilient they are. Five people with food and water are five fewer people that need immediate resources after a disaster. Being self-reliant increases your odds when storms come. You won’t be the one desperately waiting for help when disaster strikes. That is a very comforting thought.
Zombies Aren’t Real… Right?
Well, okay, the government’s just using zombies as a marketing trick. Case closed, right? No need to actually prepare for a real-life zombie apocalypse, right? Having your body hijacked by a virus or disease is just science fiction, right?
Not entirely.
No decent article about the zombie apocalypse is complete without mentioning the
zombie ant!
Da da dum!
(Insert scary organ music and lighting)
To date, they have not discovered a zombie disease that takes over humans and turns them into mindless, well, um, zombies, I guess… The same cannot be said for ants.
Ophiocordyceps unilateralis is a parasitic fungus that infects ants. This fungus attaches to and then travels through the ant’s exoskeleton. Once inside, the fungus hijacks the ant’s body and controls it, forcing it to climb to the optimal growing environment for the fungus. At its final destination, the ant mindlessly obeys the orders of the fungi and is forced to clamp down on a plant as its final act in life. From here, the ant dies and the fungus takes over. The fungus feasts itself on the ant’s body and then flowers out of the ant head.
‘Zombie’ Parasite Takes Over Insects Through Mind Control | National Geographic
Alright, I’ve heard enough!
My NEW Shopping List.
7 deadbolts
12-gauge shotgun
Barbed wire baseball batPet goldfish
Dog
Ant traps- I don’t want those fungi ants coming after me!
Man, I wish I watched more zombie movies! What else should I add to my list?
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